We all like control

Children are just like adults and they seek and need control in their lives, its important for us as human beings in this sometimes crazy place called life, to have some aspect of it that we have a say in.

Say you ordered a coffee from the same place every morning, this offered you a nice start to the morning as well as giving you a feeling of routine. One day the coffee shop is shut down, while you CAN’T control the shop shutting down, you can control your reaction to it and the choice in how you react.

Often I show kids/families the wheel of control which highlights in an easy to understand way that there are things we CAN control in life such as being kind, trying our best, being honest, and things we CAN’T control such as death, someone else’s actions. This can be a great tool that can be personalised to each home e.g. I can control what we watch on tv as a family only on Friday nights, I can’t control if I have a new sibling or not. It also really helps show kids that when things feel very unstable in life eg there’s been a death, a friendship breakdown, a move, that they still have some autonomy and choice in how they react and respond to these things.

The wheel even helps me sometimes!

Karla Donaldson - Play Therapist at Kids Inspired